The ‘L’ Word

We hear it, we say it, we read about it, we cry over it, we’re confused by it, we long for it, we find it, we lose it, we’re obsessed with it, and yet how many of us can actually say we know, and have experienced, the full sense of ‘The L Word?’

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Photo: brooke petermann/ Flickr.

In a world flooded with romantic movies and stories assuring us that one day we’ll drop a parking ticket and suddenly the love of our life will swing by and retrieve it, it’s no wonder young women nowadays have such high expectations when it comes to finding ‘the one’ – I almost find it disappointing when I open my curtains in a morning and there isn’t some smoking hot Romeo waiting to serenade me!

At an age where half of my friends are jetting off on romantic weekends with their boyfriend of five years, and the other half are calling me on their weekly walk of shame (still drunk from the night before), I find it hard to believe that so many of us are overly preoccupied with what lies ahead, rather than embracing and adoring the present.

I mean, how much can we actually expect from one person? Can we honestly anticipate to find someone who ticks all of our ‘must have’ boxes when we are so imperfect ourselves? I know for sure any guy who has found me remotely attractive at first glance has soon been scared away by my senseless obsession with Dirty Dancing, or my excessive addiction to my work – if life has taught me one thing, it’s that no one actively looks for a workaholic as a companion!

But what we also need to learn is, that’s fine! We are who we are, and we do what we do. And, if you haven’t met anyone who suits your lifestyle or beliefs, then you should just keep on moving along the bumpy road of life. You shouldn’t have to put anything important on hold to try and force a jigsaw piece that’s completely the wrong shape.

We don’t need to live our lives as if we have an empty space that needs filling, but rather additional room, external to our full and happy lives, which could potentially adopt the right person when necessary.

I think it’s important to remember that there’s more to life than love, and more to love than settling for less than you want or deserve. We shouldn’t have to panic about whether anyone on this earth will fulfill all of our needs all at once, but instead accept that we’ll gradually acquire the several elements that we need to make us happy, and that love is not the only thing that can provide these.

Laughter? I get that from my friends. Stability? I get them from my family. Confidence? I get that from doing a job every single day that I’m fascinated by, and that I adore. And love? Well, quite frankly, I get that from myself. Because, without a strong sense of self-worth and self-respect, we might as well have nothing.

Sir James M. Barrie once said: “If you have love, you don’t need to have anything else, and if you don’t have it, it doesn’t matter much what else you have.” Well sorry Sir, but I disagree.

Of course, ‘The L Word’ is important. If understood and used correctly, it can be the most beautiful and magical thing we’ll ever have. But unless it’s natural, care-free, passionate, and real, I think it’s best to focus a little less on finding love, and a little more on living this incredible gift of life.


First published on Kettle Mag: Forget the “L” word – get a life!
Featured image: brooke petermann/ Flickr.

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