The 9 home truths about having an older brother

For any little sis’s out there like me, you’ll be well aware of all the trials and tribulations that come with having an older brother. And for those of you who don’t, I assure you it isn’t as easy as it first seems…

two young children play fighting

1. Sometimes you’re going to have to take the blame
From every drink knocked over on the new carpet to smashing one of mum’s precious vases, you know that he has several years of making up excuses that you just don’t have. So, sometimes it’s just easier to bat those angelic little eyelids of yours and say: “Yes mum, it was me”. (PS, you’re welcome bro!)

2. You will learn very quickly how to be tough in this world
Because play fights with an older brother just don’t match up to that title. They’re not cute. They’re not playful. They. Are. Brutal.

3. You’re going to get jealous
We all remember the days when he was allowed out for the first time with his friends and you had to stay in in your spotty PJ’s. Or when he got to have an adult wristband on holiday for the first time and you didn’t…Tough times!

4. Your friends will probably fancy himme and my brother
“Your brother’s soooo fit”, “Beck, he’s gorgeous”, “OMG is he single?!” Ladies, stop. If you’d heard his shower singing, or if you’d seen the state of his bedroom sometimes, I promise you would be swooning no longer!

5. Sharing a room is a nightmare
Despite the fact that you love each other deep down, sharing a hotel room with a sibling doesn’t come with the same kind of loving compromise that sharing with a friend or partner has. A two week blissful holiday can very quickly turn into a fortnight of doom as soon as wardrobe space, or snoring, comes into the conversation.

6. You’re always going to be “so-and-so’s sister” (a.k.a I DO HAVE A NAME PEOPLE!)
If I had a pound for every time I’ve been stopped in the street with the greeting “YOU’RE ANTHONY’S SISTER, AREN’T YOU?” I could probably afford to pack up my stuff and tour the world right away. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not ashamed or embarrassed, or anything like that. It would just be nice to be addressed by my own name every once in a while… I mean, would you like it if people shouted “YOU’RE THE ONE WITH THE BIG ASS, AREN’T YOU?” Same principle.

7. You’ll get mistaken for his girlfriend – gross!
I don’t know what’s worse; being the absolute spitting image of your older sibling, or sharing no similarities at all. For someone like me who doesn’t have the same eye colour, hair colour or, as a matter of fact, any similar features as my big bro, a walk to the shop to buy milk and bread can often result in several questions from friends about who my latest man is and why I’ve been keeping him a secret. Not cool!

8. You will have fancied at least one of his friends
It doesn’t matter who. It doesn’t matter when. All that matters is HE WILL NEVER KNOW…

9. He’ll always be your big bro!
Despite the good, the bad, and the absolutely horrendous things you both know about each other (and your habits), he’ll always be your go-to guy, your best friend and your closest confident. Most importantly, he’ll always be your big bro!

me and my brother


First published on Kettle Mag: The 9 home truths about having an older brother.

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