The misfit’s guide to online shopping

After a tough and tiring week, as per, I shamefully did my normal trick of resorting to online shopping sites for comfort – ugh, I sound like such a woman! But while completing my usual browsing and adding to my wish list for when/if I ever have the cash, I suddenly thought that these websites are missing out on a truly revolutionary idea…

online shopping
Photo: Tim Reckmann/ Flickr.

Ladies, you’ll know what I mean when I say that sometimes the clothes you order online are not exactly the same clothes that then arrive in their squishy, black bag, are they?

But why? It’s exactly the same product you viewed online (from in front, behind, above, below), so why do they always look so different in person?

I’ll tell you why.

I have a bum. I have hips. I’m incredibly pale. Oh, and I’m 5 foot 2 with little, stubby legs. So really it’s no surprise that when my curvy self wriggles into the material previously worn by a 5 foot 10 golden-skinned beauty with legs up to her neck, we aren’t exactly going to be twinning.

I can’t even count the times I’ve fallen head over heels (sad, I know) for a cute Bodycon number online, only to be disappointed when I end up looking like a slightly-too-full Subway sandwich squeezed into it. Not cool.

Does no one else think it would be so much more helpful if we could use plus and minus keys to alter an animated models body into one like your own? You know, like playing Sims? I know for sure I’d be doing a hell of a lot of plus-ing on the thigh size, and maybe a few minuses on the height…

I just think if you have the option to select what colour and style you’re looking for, and your chosen price range, you should also be able to compensate for your assets just like you would in a shopping mall. Surely this way, we’d all receive a more accurate representation of just how flattering (or unflattering) that ‘cute’ little number will be.

And even if my on-screen model wouldn’t be considered ‘beautiful’ in the fashion world, or indeed by most other online shoppers, at least I could go ahead with my web purchasing with a smile on my face, and feeling truly comfortable in my own skin.


Featured image: Tim Reckmann/ Flickr.

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